A Tale Told by an Idiot

Major shipping routes in the colonial era. British, Dutch and Spanish shipping routes from 1750 to 1800.


Major shipping routes in the colonial era. British, Dutch and Spanish shipping routes from 1750 to 1800.

queer fandom: *points* that one. that character right there. ours now.
straight fandom/creators: but–
queer fandom: OURS NOW


redemption arcs for matt, gerard and peter all coming up in season five


"there’s no time for a black widow movie"

"there isn’t an audience for a female lead superhero movie"




I want to write an alternative version of Romeo and Juliet where instead of being a little ponce and trying to work things out for himself, Romeo asks his smarter friends what to do about the whole thing and Benvolio and Mercutio come up with the world’s greatest plan:

Marriage of convenience between Juliet and Mercutio.

Think about it.

Juliet’s parents want her to marry into the Prince’s family. Mercutio is a good compromise between no marriage and Paris.

Mercutio probably won’t get his inheritance if he keeps being HELLA FUCKING GAY ALL OVER THE PLACE so a beard is only a benefit to him.

They would probably get along great rolling their eyes at how adorably stupid Romeo is.

Romeo and Benvolio could get a “bachelor pad” right next to Juliet and Mercutio’s house. Every night, Romeo and Mercutio high five as they hop the fence to go bang their one true love.

The second half of the play is just all of them trying to keep up the charade and being “THIS CLOSE” to getting caught all the time. But everything ends nicely because true love conquers all.

Everybody wins. Nobody dies.

This has probably been said on this post before but it makes a reasonable amount of literary sense as well.

A lot of Shakespeare’s works, comedy in particular but also relatively serious plays like The Merchant Of Venice, were based in the tropes of Italian commedia, which is eventually where we get French sex farces from as well. 

Add in a servant who facilitates the nightly transfer and wants to get laid with one of the housemaids, some jokes between characters about people thinking Romeo and Benvolio are fucking all night long, Romeo in drag once or twice, and either a lecherous elderly neighbor or Juliet’s father always hanging around, and you’ve basically got the plot of a commedia performance. Especially funny at the time would have been dressing Romeo in drag (say, to pretend to be her lady in waiting when her dad almost catches him in some other man’s marital bed in the middle of the day) while Juliet was already being played by a boy actor in drag, and having Romeo pull it off so well that he gets mistaken for her. 

But yeah, R&J as a door-slammin’ sex comedy, I’d watch it. 

Commedia! *jazz hands*


Teresa Sharpe


Teresa Sharpe


Aleida March


Aleida March

Hey John, what is your reaction to the news that the Riverside district has chosen to ban TFIOS from middle school libraries on the grounds that it deals with mortality and sex? I remember your reactions to similar situations concerning your books have been pretty animated and wondered what you thought?




I guess I am both happy and sad.

I am happy because apparently young people in Riverside, California will never witness or experience mortality since they won’t be reading my book, which is great for them.

But I am also sad because I was really hoping I would be able to introduce the idea that human beings die to the children of Riverside, California and thereby crush their dreams of immortality.

Imagine a world where people only die if they know about death. 

(How quickly) would everyone become immortal? What do you think will happen? Will there come a point wherein everyone hides the the concept of death from a generation and the concept will die out? Can you even do that? You can’t teach any form of history, or even family trees, because every previous generation has died (what about pets and other animals? is it only human mortality that counts?). Infant mortality would drop to zero though. 

If people only can die if they know death exist, would anything change at all? 

And so a novel was born.




I have never hit reblog so fast in my LIFE.


Aleksey Platunov - Elephant Sketch Tattoo tattrx.com/artists/aleksey-platunov